- 1 Successful Life
- Difficulty Level Suitable for All
Often the journey to success isn’t an easy one. Which is a good thing. Our sense of accomplishment and achievement comes in great part from the obstacles we have overcome. The mountains we have climbed are the stories we tell. It is true when they say that it is the journey that matters more than the goal.
An invaluable ingredient to helping us on the journey is the answer to the question, “Why am I doing this?” Whether you are beginning or in the midst of your journey, this answer will provide you with the juice to continue when times get tough.
“If you have a strong enough WHY you can survive any HOW” is a motto that is well deserved. Finding or discovering an empowering WHY is simple. Keep answering the question, “Why am I doing this?” until you come across an (or several) empowering answer(s).
Why am I (your goal). Because…
- It will pay for the beautiful home
- It will pay for my trip around the world
- It will make peoples live better
- It will reduce student suicide
What is the WHY that will drive you to success?
Remember to keep it written down in a place that you will see often. Often the journey can become so overwhelming that we not only lose sight of the goal, we lose sight of why we were going there.
One of the things that is often recommended for journeyers is a vision board. A vision board is a board that contains images of the goals that you wish to achieve. You can literally see the goals that you want to have happen. Examples of images on a board might be…
- A printed book cover
- A news title “New York Times Best Seller!”
- A Beachfront home
- Tour date with your favourite speakers
Vision boards tap into psychological and energetic (Law of Attraction) forces to bring into your environment the means to acquire the goals of your life.
A great way to get more from the idea of vision boards is to have an Envision Strip. So instead of a board on the wall, you have a strip of paper (I use a strip of wall paper). You divide this strip into three vertical sections. A past, present, and future section.
Goals start of being in the future section, then as they become to be manifested they are moved into the present. After they have been achieved they are moved into the past section. This method is a much better way to utilise your power of envisioning. It gives a sense of movement and progress and evidences the power of attraction and manifestation.
Don’t forget to keep the future section stocked up as goals move through the strip.
Ever seen a building built without scaffolding? When we are on the journey towards our goals there will be many times when we need support. It isn’t that Rome wasn’t built in a day, but more the case that Rome wasn’t built by one person.
There are two kinds of support, skilful or practical support and psychological or emotional support. The skilful or practical kind of support is the obvious one that we figure into our journey. For example, if my goal is to write a book then I could figure that I will (may) need…
- A proof reader and editor
- A Graphics designer for the cover
- A publisher
- A website designer/creator
And so on. However what we don’t often factor in is emotional support. Who are the friends that will encourage me when I am on an emotional low point? Are there any friends (family) that I need to keep out of my support group? Do I need to find a mastermind group (or indeed create one)?
The environment in which we create the life that we want must be nurturing and supportive. One thing that is key to success is a supportive environment. If you haven’t got one. Then look for one or create one. Facebook and LinkedIn are great places to find people to create a supportive nurturing environment. Remember that there are many people in the same place as you.
The excitement of creation and of pursuit of our dreams can sometimes blinker us to the rest of our life. Our life becomes the project or the goal. I often ask, what is the point of arriving at your destination, if you have left the family and friends that you love behind. Don’t erode dreams that you have achieved in the pursuit of other dreams. Have your cake and eat it.
The late great Stephen Covey often quoted Goethe, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” Who matters most?
When I first start coaching someone this is a question that needs to be answered and factored into the journey (timetable). Is your goal more important than your child’s school play?
When creating a plan towards your dreams make sure that the first set of activities you put on there are the things that “Matter Most”.
And of course, don’t forget yourself in that category too. You matter more than anyone else. A good way to do this for yourself is to have frequent milestones (on your journey) that you can give yourself treats for. I call them Celebration Stones. Oh and these should be for yourself. It’s not a good idea to put other people into your celebration-stone plan. For instance, “I will take my wife out for dinner when I have completed 3 chapters of my book” No, your wife should be wined and dined unconditionally.
Many people don’t have or commit to goals. The reason is twofold. One is a fear of success and the other a fear of failure. But there is more depth to it. We fear success because it means we have to change, take on new responsibilities, encounter new situations. We will be removed from the current comfort that we are in.
On the other hand, although failure means we will remain where we are, the fear comes from the notion that others might see us as a failure, might make fun of us, the “wannabe author”.
Either or both of these might come upon us on our journey (even scupper the start of our journey). So let’s deal with them.
As my understanding goes, there is only one constant in the universe and that is change. Given that this is inevitable, to get to where you are in life you must have gone through many a trying times and yet you are here. The conclusion is clear, you must have succeeded in getting through that challenge.
I do a talk to students who are leaving university. Often they are going out into the unknown, a new city, perhaps a new job, new challenges, leaving old friends behind, leaving the comfort of the known and the safe. It can be quite a frightening prospect. However what I point out to them is that they have been in a similar situation before. When the first came to university they were in virtually the same situation and yet they survived and indeed thrived. The only issue they have (now that they are leaving) is that they have forgotten.
In your past you have had many successes. How did it feel before those challenges? How did it feel after you had overcome them? Keeping such successes in mind (written down) will create the courage that will sustain you through current and future successes. As Tony Robbins says, “You can only build on success.” So we have to find those successes and use them as a resource to overcome any fears of success.
Fear of being seen as a failure is a tough but easy one to overcome once you know how. The first option is (and as I mentioned in ENVIRONMENT above) basically remove them from your support group. What I mean is, simply don’t tell them that you are in pursuit of a goal. We have to be selective in who we tell about our goals. Friends and family members you know well and will know whether they will be supportive. Like I said, we all need support, but we have many options as to where we get that support.
Another thing that you must consider, people who consciously recall there own challenges know and appreciate the journeys of others. So if a person isn’t appreciative (supportive) then we can maybe forgive them (or ignore them) for they have forgotten their own history.
An often misunderstood thing about fear is that it needs to be conquered or eradicated. Actually what needs to be done is that we should continue on our journey even though we are afraid. That is what courage is, to continue on in the face of fear.
Recipe by: Kal Malik
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- Recipe Type : Recipes For Success
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Kal Malik is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, personal development specialist, energy consultant and meaning expert. He successfully combines Energy Transformation with Personal Development. Working with the best modern-day personal development ...Read more about this chef..
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